Question:
I am in a seven-year relationship with a guy, but I’m bisexual. My boyfriend has no problem with me being with girls, as he doesn’t see it as cheating. Everyone we know finds this very weird. Do you think this could cause problems in the future?
Dave Answers:
Yes, if you keep telling everyone you know! What is the matter with you?! Look, if your boyfriend has no problem with your bisexuality, then that is all that matters. I see it the same way he does. Men and women are simply equipped differently, and there is no way a man can satisfy a woman as a woman. If I owned a sushi restaurant and my customers wanted Italian food, I would have no problem with them going to an Italian place. If they went to a different sushi restaurant, then I would be offended. Try keeping your sex life to yourselves and the partners you introduce into it. There’s no reason to share such personal intimate details with everyone, especially if you don’t like the reaction you get. Fuck ’em.
Question:
How do you tell a long-term partner that you want to see other people but still want to be with him? I’m having a hard time convincing my boyfriend of six years that I believe we are not meant to be monogamous without him getting jealous and angry.
Dave Answers:
Well, you should have started off that way instead of changing the rules six years in. Of course he is going to take this personally. If you’re asking me how to convince your boyfriend to see things your way, I’m sorry. I cannot do that. I’m on his side with this. Now you’re the one left with a decision: Leave the relationship and be up-front with your new partner or stay in your current monogamous relationship.
Question:
My girlfriend is a squirter, and I’m sick of washing the fucking sheets every night. We’ve tried shagging outside, but the neighbors have small kids, and we don’t have a car to drive out to the forest. Is there a medical procedure available to us to stop the squirting?
Dave Answers:
You can ask her to stop imagining you’re Johnny Depp and see if that works! The fact is, this is who she is; you’d better learn to deal or make a change. I know you see this as a problem, but imagine an even worse option: Being with a squirter who doesn’t squirt when she’s with you. Try sex in the shower or rubber/plastic sheets (coverings for such events are available). You can even lay down towels when you’re in a pinch. Many men find squirting to be extremely hot, so remember, if you can’t handle it, there are a lot of men who will happily take over for you. I’m sure that idea stings on some level. Seriously, have a stack of towels standing by, and thank your lucky stars you are with someone so gifted.
